Recently, I was reading Lisa Leonard’s blog, and she asked her readers what you would do if someone offered you $20K for everything in your home.  The response in the comments was interesting, but today she directed us to this blog post where Kim at Tomkat Studio shared her story about selling her house and everything in it!  Last night, my good friend Bonnie, who has an awesome blog for kid advice, posted on Facebook that she wanted a do over with all of her stuff.  And, that prompted me to wonder what would be on my list of things to keep if someone offered me $20K for all our stuff?

First, my answer would be yes.  For $20K, I would sell everything I owned.  When I first started thinking about this, I was in the middle of Ali Edwards’s Week in the Life project, and I thought that it would be interesting to document our house at this moment in our lives.  Things are undone and all over the place after moving last year.  Lots of empty wall space still, so I don’t really feel settled completely.  Most of our stuff is what we have collected over the last ten years of marriage and moving, and the boy’s job influences the way we think about our stuff (we are always worried about how heavy something is!).  But, these are a few of the things that are particularly important to me and would be on my keep list.

1 | The first is the headboard to our bed.  This was an old window frame that I saved from the dump that I had made into a headboard by a wonderful old woodworker in the town we lived in when we were in Kansas.  On the top of the top cross bar, it has “Always kiss me goodnight” etched into the wood.  I love it, and it is one of those pieces that I hope becomes a family heirloom.

2| Next would have to be the glass cabinet in our kitchen.  It is a piece that I picked at a craft fair in Kansas.  It is wonderful, and one of the last truly country crafty things that I kept from that phase in my life.  I don’t think I will ever get rid of it, but I have thought of painting it several times!

3| Then, there are these, which I have posted about before.  It is unnatural how much I love them!

4| And, finally, there are lots of pictures and wall art that I wouldn’t want to leave behind.  One of my favorites, is my ceiling tin piece.  This was another find from that Kansas craft fair, but it was one of those things that was almost a complete loss.  I saw it there the first year I went, but I had already gotten the pie safe above, and I didn’t want to get both.  But, then I went home and thought about it and was really bummed that I hadn’t gotten the one I saw.

The next year I went, and the weather was awful and the vendor wasn’t there.  It wasn’t until the final year I went that he was back, but when I went to his booth, they didn’t have any of the larger ones displayed.  So, I asked about it and explained the story.  It turned out that he had left it in his truck because the economy was bad, and he didn’t think it would sell.  It is huge, but it looks perfect in the front entryway of our new house with the higher ceilings!

What this little experiment taught me about our stuff is that I value the unique more than the everyday.  I see lots of our possessions as functional pieces that work for the job we need them for.  But, the pieces I love the most are the ones that have a story and took a little extra effort to acquire.  A good lesson to learn at this stage in my life!

This is the Isabella Chair from Pottery Barn.  We love the one in red.  But, we didn’t love the price tag.  No way that we could justify spending almost $600 for four chairs for a table that was less than $75.  So, we headed down to the Virginia Bazaar to see what we could find. And, again, we hit pay dirt!

We found four chairs that look almost exactly like these that I found on this site (I was too lazy to go out to the garage and take pictures of ours).  And, now that I have seen these chairs, although they are in better shape, I am realizing that the $5 a piece we paid for the four we got made them an amazing deal.  They seem to be circa early 1900′s.  Like I said, ours aren’t in amazing shape.  They need some wood glue and new seats.  We are also going to paint them this color.

It is a great Behr color. And, it will really make the chairs pop.  What is the dilemma you might ask?  Well, the pretty blue gingham fabric on the existing seat covers isn’t going to cut it.  And, I have been looking for some fun fabric that will look great in our kitchen and allow us to pull in a lot of other colors in the same hue as the red above.  And, I have narrowed my choices down to these two.

The first you might recognize as Alexander Henry’s Mocca.  And, I have some of this downstairs.  It is a print I love, but I am concerned about how well it will hold up because it isn’t really decorator or upholstery weight.  The second is a specialty organic fabric from an awesome designer,Daisy Jane , that I have been eying for a while.  It is definitely pricey, but it is perfect, and I love it!

My dilemma is which one?  Now, I know what most of you will say.  With a baby on the way, expensive fabric that we going to be sitting on is probably not a good idea.  But, that is why it is a dilemma.  I am wondering if this should be our one spot to splurge on this project, particularly since we wouldn’t need a ton for the four chairs.

Update on the chairs can be found here!

My friend, Bonnie, wrote about this and gave her blog a spelling disclaimer.  And, the Pioneer Woman has mentioned her disdain for typos as well.

Now, this isn’t all to say that I won’t have an error or two now and then, as I am not claiming my perfection.  I just never know how to handle the mistakes I locate on other people’s blogs.

Should I tell the writer, particularly when there is a glaring mistake in the title of the blog?  Or, should I mind my own business and keep the teacher lady hiding below my surface in check?  Oh, the dilemmas!  Either way, if you ever find a mistake on this blog, please let me know!

Whether or not each of us voted for our new president, the fact is that enough people voted for him that he will indeed be our next president.  That is the American way.  So, at this point, we all have to decide how we are going to move forward from here.  I was thinking about this while I was watching his victory speech on Tuesday night, where he once again made use of the rhetoric that probably won him this election.  And, while I was listening to him talk, a couple of things were going through my head.

First, I am proud to be an American at this moment.  We are a country that has overcome so much history and baggage to get to this point.  When he was recounting the life events of the 106 year old woman from Georgia, I was in awe of the life that she has witnessed and lived.  And, I can’t wait to see what my years reveal.  I am excited about the possibility this election opened up for us as a country. However, this all might not be very comforting for anyone that didn’t want him to be the choice, which leads me to my second thought.

I am so happy that our election process worked and that people participated.  Those of us who voted had our voices heard, whether or not the results turned out like we hoped they would.  And, now we need to act as true Americans always have, we need to stand together.  I believe that is the most American thing we can do.

And, finally and perhaps most importantly, I wondered what if.  What if he really is going to try to do all that he said he is.  What if he really works to pull all the people of this country together again.  What if he is the change that we need to keep going.  What if he is the man that can help us repair our own relationships at home.

Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long. Let us remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House – a party founded on the values of self-reliance, individual liberty, and national unity. Those are values we all share, and while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress. As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, We are not enemies, but friends…though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn – I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too.

What if he will help repair relationships around the world while keeping this country safe from harm.

And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of our world – our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand. To those who would tear this world down – we will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security – we support you. And to all those who have wondered if Americas beacon still burns as bright – tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from our the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity, and unyielding hope.

What if he is the man who can help inspire this generation to action.  What if….

I like the fact that I didn’t hear a lot of false promises and unreal expectations.  Instead, I really feel that Obama has just laid out a plan of attack.  He is sharing his philosophy about what this country could be (again), and he has made a policy-type proposal for America.  From what I can see, his leadership style is meant to be a transparent.  And, this is a concept I hold dear in my own life and my teaching.

My mother taught me at a young age that she would trust me until she couldn’t.  Meaning she would give me the chance to do the right thing.  This is also a philosophy I use with my teaching and with all the relationships in my life, and I have decided that I am going to trust Obama until I can’t.  I also trust that if as a nation we get to the point that we can’t, then we won’t re-elect him.  So, I am going to be watchful and aware, and I am going to seek to understand before I seek to be understood, which is what I take this quote from his speech to mean as well.

There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who wont agree with every decision or policy I make as President, and we know that government cant solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And above all, I will ask you join in the work of remaking this nation the only way its been done in America for two-hundred and twenty-one years – block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

So, this is my stance.   And, with all this is the one thing that Obama has already told us he would give us, hope.  I just hope that he doesn’t let us down.

All quotes found here.

(photo borrowed from Brene)

For the last few days, I have been working on a post with the original title up there.  I had my dilemma all laid out.  I explained that I am between a place of should and want in my life, and I feel run over by my to do list of what I should be doing.  Right now, I feel drawn towards my want to move to more creative endeavors, and I am having trouble focusing on the shoulds.  I outlined all the reasons I love my job and some of the reasons that make it hard.  And, in the language of the whole post I talked about the separation between my creative life and my academic one.

And, then I opened Brene’s post from a few days ago.  Brene’s blog is one of the blogs that I read very slowly.  With most blogs, I just devour new posts, trying to take in as much information as possible, but with Brene’s, I take my time.  She has amazing things to say, and I feel a connection to her for some reason.  But, when I opened this last post, that connection was made even clearer.  The image above is of a statue on the University of Houston campus, where Brene works.  The statue is called “Sandy in a Box.”  This is why the title of this post has a subtitle.

Reading through her post, I realize that I am trying to place all the areas of my life into little boxes (yes, the song is playing through my head too): this project focuses on diversity issues, in this one I am going to work on green issues, here I am going to be a teacher, here I am going to be creative, here is where I am going to spend time with my friends and family, and this is where I am going to be an Army wife that knows about deployments and acronyms (albeit a box I haven’t found myself in lately, and I am little afraid of returning to). And, like Brene, I think I am ready to start stepping outside of these boxes, and I have found it to be an uncomfortable process.

I really don’t know why I thought living my life in this compartmentalized way was going to work.  It is like trying to have completely separate groups of friends.  There are times when you want to pull everyone together.  So, instead of focusing on the different hats I am supposed to be wearing in each scenario, I am going to acknowledge the pull I feel between want and should.  I also have to acknowledge that being in this position is a dangerous spot for me because it has a tendency to stop productivity on all things.  This is because when I move towards doing something I want to do, I feel bad that I am not working on my shoulds and vice versa.  And, as a result of all of this, I am turning my wants into requirements (ie: making Christmas presents for everyone) in order to give myself permission to do what I want in the first place.

The bottom line is I have to make some decisions about my time and intentions related to what I want to do and what my perception is about what I should be doing.  I have to pay more attention to the work and time I do that fulfills me.

A place to start:

1. It is time for me to start really practicing Christine Kane’s philosophy about if is not an automatic yes, then it is a no!  The things I am working on are either a part of my whole life or they aren’t.  And, if they aren’t, then I need to cut my ties with them.
2. I plan to honor the commitments I already have but take more time to think about those I accept or seek out after this point.  Those who know me will know that this is not my typical MO.  I love to help people, and I love to get involved, but I need to be better about managing my involvement.
3. As a creative person, I need to believe creativity will follow me into all the areas of my life if I follow my last decision.  And, it is okay for me to be creative.  It is what makes me a good teacher and a hard worker.  And, my creativity allows me a different view of the world than everyone else.
4. I need to understand that my view of the world is not going to be accepted by everyone.  After all, the reason I have a different view than others is because theirs doesn’t resonate with me. I want to try to start using the appropriate language when these differences occur.  It isn’t always personal.  Those that I have conflict with just believe in their view point as strongly as I believe in mine.

This whole process makes me think a lot about Robert Frost’s poem “The Road Not Taken.”   I have taught this several times to my students.  I think it is a great poem to use with students that don’t have experience with poetry because most of them feel like they understand what Frost is saying, and the message resonates for them.  Upon the first reading, students always think that Frost is celebrating the choice he made to take a particular path.  But, in actuality, it is more likely that the poem wasn’t meant to talk about the benefit of one choice over the other.  Instead, Frost is talking about the inevitability of the choices you have to make.

I think this poem can really be thought of as a statement about just living your life to see how things turn out. So, while I am at this crossroads between want and should, I get to decide if those are two divergent paths, solely moving away from each other.  In this model, I am always missing out on something, and I will likely always be at the standstill I am at right now.

I would like to have a more circular approach to my life, where moving towards something is not moving away from something else, but rather, sneaking up on it from behind!  I think that’s the only true way for me to break out of my boxes and live one complete, fulfilling life.

By the way, these are the ones I picked; they are gorgeous!

I can’t wait to get them, but I am still not exactly sure what I am going to do with them.  I know that the colors, particularly of the ones on the right, would go perfectly with some of the pieces my mother-in-law sent me.   And, I have been thinking about ways to get some of both into one piece!

But, I digress.  Sometimes, the creativity flows in at such a rate that I feel a little overwhelmed by the sheer nature of all that is in my brain.  It did help me to make a list here the last time that happened, so I think that I might try it again.  I will start with a brief recap of those projects.

Stuff from before:

1. The pillow for the boy still isn’t done.  It is a 20 minute job (famous last words in my family), and I think I am just going to try to knock it out this weekend.
2. I still  haven’t made the cover for my sewing machine, but I think it is going to happen soon as well, as the machine is now out all the time (yea!).
3. The Drawing Board’s frame has been primed and is ready to be painted. This is where I am a little hung up.  I am not sure what I want to do on the frame, but I did figure out what I want to do on the edges though.  Now, I just need to find the wood that can be used for the center.  My goal is to have this project done by the end of September.
4. The sewing machine table is done, and I was able to decoupage the drawer.
5. The table for my friend’s daughter is primed, and I am going to work on painting that this week while I have a little time before papers come rolling in.  The problem?  I have a ton of things that I have said that very same thing about.
6. And, the perpetual calendar is still looming in the background too.  It is one of those projects that I am hoping will become something treasured in our family, but that hope makes it hard to complete too.

New to the list are the following:

1. The one with a pressing deadline is due Monday, so it will be posted here before then!  It is kind of a surprise.  I am going to do my very first tutorial, a slightly daunting prospect.  And, it is a project that I have only seen in bits and pieces around the web, so it might be pretty cool.  I tried to explain the plan to the boy last night, and he just said “I don’t see how you can keep that pattern straight in your head.”  At this point, I just hope that I did!  I am so excited to see how it turns out though.
2. Christmas is looming around the corner, and as some of you might have noticed, I added the handmade pledge to my list.  I already have a list started of what I would like to do for people, and I am having trouble figuring out the boys.  I am not completely sure what I am going to do for all of them.  Although, I do know what I would like to do for Joe’s dad.  But, I really need a solid list going about that, or I am not going to have enough time to get everything done, particularly since some of them are a little ambitious.  I know….not me, never!
3. One of the things that I would like to do for our family is start making mini-albums.  I have mentioned before that I am not ready to give up on scrapbooking, but I really do need to make some progress before the supplies take over my life.  So, I thought that I would start with mini-albums, since they are easier to complete.  I got the idea for the first one I am going to try here.  That Ali Edwards is such an inspirational lady.
4. Of course, all the stuff I posted about here still needs to be completed.
5. I am also working on a few website projects, which have a lot of small pieces that I am going to have to figure out how to do.
6. And, finally, I have not forgotten my declaration that the next quilt I make will be for me!  I have everything started, and I just need to keep moving with it!

As you can see, the ideas are never the problem.  I have them all the time, and the journal has been helping a little.  At least now, I am not terrified by the prospect of them vanishing in the great swirling grey matter than is my brain.

But, how does everyone mediate between all that they want to do.  I am not someone who does well focusing on a particular craft, although I have been sewing more than anything this year.  But, with a full-time job, and lots of academic projects, I am not sure how to fit everything in.  Because I have so much going on, I don’t ever feel like I can take the time to stop and work on anything for an extended period of time because I should be working on something else.  I think that this is usually the key for me that I am doing too much.  And, what I can do is not take on anything else, but I am not sure how to stay up with all that I have to do right now.

Hopefully, a few of the larger projects can get checked off my list to lighten the load a little.  Maybe if I can get a few smaller things checked off this weekend and make some progress on the larger stuff, I will feel better about it all.  Because right now, it is all a little too much.

]]> http://somethingrhetorical.com/talking/2008/09/what-happens-when-you-want-to-do-everything-at-the-craft-store/feed/ 0 http://somethingrhetorical.com/talking/2008/07/thinking-about-what-makes-me-happy/ http://somethingrhetorical.com/talking/2008/07/thinking-about-what-makes-me-happy/#comments Sat, 19 Jul 2008 12:56:12 +0000 Sandy http://somethingrhetorical.com/talking/?p=80 On the whole, I would like to say that I am a happy person.  Some people in my life might not agree on a day-to-day basis, but I do try to be happy overall.  In other words, happiness is my goal.  I do not want to be stuck living a life where I am always upset with what is going on around me.  However, I will be quite honest that it is not always in my nature to try to see the highlight of a situation, but I do try to look for the good in things rather than focusing on the negative.  This post was a good example of me trying to do just that.

Christine Kane, someone I talk about a lot here I realize, writes about this on her blog quite a bit, about setting intentions and having a clear vision about what you want.  She calls it living consciously.  Lots of other writers and artists talk about this type of thing as well.  And, while I was driving with my best good friend the other day, we got to talking about what makes us happy.  I asked her if she could pinpoint something that makes her happy, and through our conversation, we determined that there are at least two types of happy states.

One is a giddy-happy.  You might experience this when you are laughing with friends or otherwise having a good time.  And, the other is an overall sense of being.  I would call this contentment.  I would like to think that even when you have other things going on in your life that try to pull you down, you can still be in both of these states.

I have been particularly concerned about this since our conversation because as we were driving, I could not name even one thing that makes me happy…not one.  And, since I feel that I live a fairly happy life overall, I know that there are there.  Usually, I am pretty heavy on the giddy part.  My midwest “family” and I joke around a lot, so we are always laughing.  But, I would like to do more things that let giddy lead to more of the overall contentment.  Content is a state of being that I could definitely live with.

I have also come to realize that these feelings and the events that trigger them can camouflage themselves in seemingly normal moments of my life.  And, I know that if I am not paying attention, I will miss them.  Therefore, I am setting the intention to start paying closer attention.

To do that, I am going to keep track of them as they happen using this space to help me.  I started a page above, and I am going to write these joy-inducing moments as I realize them.  I have also decided that I am going to try to focus on the small little things…the day-to-day things.  I am not going to include the boy on the list because if he didn’t make me happy, I wouldn’t be married to him.  I know that I am happy with him, but I would like to think more about why, so the moments where he drives me crazy won’t seem so important.  I am going to work on focusing on all the minute parts of my life and take notice.  It is my reaction and interaction with these moments that I would like to change.

I don’t know how long it will take me to make the list, and I don’t know how long I will keep it up, but it should be interesting to see what this endeavor reveals about me and my life.

I am a closet (literally) scrapbook hoarder. I joke that my hobby is really collecting (and organizing) scrapbooking materials. And, while I have all these materials, I am not actually creating pages. I have ideas, but I always have some excuse that holds me back from taking the next step. And, I have been wondering, lately in particular, if I needed to sell what I have and admit that although I want to scrapbook, I am not ever going to do it. I have been receiving gentle prodding in that direction by others around me too.

But, I am not ready to give up the idea that I can be an academic and a scrapbooker/crafter at the same time, even though I know that this is definitely one of my hang-ups about scrapbooking.  I am reading Ali Edwards‘s book called Life Artist, and I am really loving this term right now. I think I like it because it allows all my loves to be “okay.” I can create in my classroom as well as every other medium in my life that I choose. This one term allows for all of my desires to coexist, albeit sometimes very strangely.

This year, we have been doing some major purging like what Christine is talking about. We have been getting rid of the things we don’t absolutely love, and I have been trying to get rid of the stuff that I am keeping because of fear. Fear someone will be upset if “it” is not on my wall, fear that “it” will never fit again, fear that I can’t believe I spent so much money on “it,” or whatever. But, as we are clearing more and more out, I am not feeling better, as I had hoped that I would. For me, I think that I need to take the step and actually clear out the mental clutter, keeping only what I love. This is the same discussion that I hear everywhere right now. I keep reading about the idea that you have to let go of what is holding you down, just forget about it. But, the light bulb moment happened for me as I got to #26 on Christine’s list of things to toss.  This thing was an attitude or a belief on a  list of physical things to pitch.

What I need to toss right now is not physical. I can completely empty my house, and I am still not going to feel the way I want to feel until I get rid of the mental clutter that is clouding up my energy. I have come to terms with the need to get rid of my physical clutter, but my brain has been like a cluttered hard drive on a computer for far too long. I think that this is the core of what I keep seeing discussed, in whatever format it takes at the moment. You are only going to be successful when you keep the thoughts that you love and think the thoughts that are going to help bring you what you desire. It is really just the law of attraction boiled down. I have to clear out the mental clutter I am keeping, and I have to deal with the fact that I am afraid of what I will have to admit if I give it up.

So, I have decided that I am not ready to toss our my scrapbooking aspirations yet. But, I do realize that if I want to be the life artist I really want to be, I have to realize that it is the mental clutter that is holding me back in all my life’s mediums (ie: It isn’t perfect, so no one will want it. The things I create won’t be good enough. I am going to mess it up. The act of creating is a waste of time when I have other things I should be doing). These are all the thoughts that are going to have to be put aside in order to succeed at this goal.

I mean since I got the new sewing machine, that I love more than other any crafting tool I could ever imagine, I have been creating lots more. So, I know that having the tools I need to create what I want to create is the first step. I have actually known that the tools matter for me for quite some time and already give myself the tools I need to make the task of teaching easier to manage. So, now it is time to clean out all the clutter, mental and physical, and take the next step towards creating the life I desire in a fuller sense.

Amazing how perfectly this goes along with my word for the year!

I am really excited about all that I have going on right now.  I am in the process of getting my application together for Texas Tech’s online PhD program right now.  And, I should totally be working on my statement of purpose right now.  But, I am hoping to have a solid draft of that done by Friday, so I can mail out my packet early next week.  All the requests for recommendations are out.  So, now it is just all that is left on my end to get my stuff together.  But, I am so excited about the possibility of the program.

I am also working on some awesome stuff here at school too.  Takes me a minute to wrap my head around all I am involved with right now actually.  But, here they are.

1. I received a grant to work on a project in Second Life and a multicultural group on our campus.  It has been really exciting to learn more about Second Life and the work this group is doing all at the same time.  And, I would really like to do some more writing about how nontraditional writings can work with more “nontraditional” movements on campuses.
2. I am also working with this multicultural group in a more tech support oriented position, and I hope to be able to do some web design for them.  I really want to touch up on those skills, as it has been a while since I did any of that type of work.  And my own site is in such disarray that I definitely need to spend some time on it as well.
3. And, last but not least, I got involved with the engineering school on campus and some large award application work that they are doing.  That is really cool because I am working with the students to actually write the awards.

I am really excited about all these projects, and I am particularly excited about the spaces between.  How they overlap that is.  I will write more when I find out how everything is progressing.  I can’t wait to get that application in the mail.  That is the first thing that absolutely has to get done.  Then, I will be able to breathe a little easier and not be quite as distracted.